By Frank Sinatra, AAP Editor

A longtime teacher at Pennsauken High School, along with his daughter, is sharing a story of personal loss to help families talk to children about this important topic.

Written by PHS English teacher Frank Stepnowski and illustrated by Sam Stepnowski, “Where Did Cain Go?: A Family’s Walk Through Loss” is a children’s book that highlights one family’s experience with grief to help others going through a similar experience.

“Cain died when he was 13 days old. He was our first. And we went on to have three more kids,” explained Frank, who has taught at Pennsauken High School for 21 years. “Sam saw his pictures on the wall and inquired about her older brother. ‘Who’s that? Where is he at and where did he go?’ I remember thinking that this is a really important answer I’m about to give here. We collectively thought this is something that people should hear about. It’s a very difficult subject, but maybe we can help people facilitate that conversation.”

“I was really young and I didn’t have any experience with this. For a long time, I didn’t know what that meant,” explained Sam, who works as a research and development cell biologist in Maryland. “It just stuck with me my whole life and through this book I kind of answered it for myself. The lasting impression is that we still love him. And it’s okay to feel that way.”

“Where Did Cain Go?: A Family’s Walk Through Loss” presents those important questions children ask about loss in an approachable way. The topic is addressed in a straightforward manner, allowing parents to add as much additional context as they’d like. The illustrations effortlessly move the story along, while including symbolism important to the father-daughter duo.

“It was Sam’s decision to set the book in North Wildwood, because our family associates that place where we were happiest,” said Frank.

“That’s my favorite place in the world. We literally grew up there every single summer of my life,” added Sam, who minored in studio arts in college and illustrated the book using the Procreate app on an iPad. “I wanted it to feel familiar and nostalgic and be the embodiment of a perfect childhood.”

All of the Stepnowski children are represented as their favorite stuffed animals when they were little. Dad is a dragon, since Frank has his children tattooed as dragons on his arms. Mom is the teddy bear that was on Cain’s hospital bed. And Cain, seen as a butterfly, shows up for the family’s special moments. The book is only a handful of pages, but the love and care put into this special book is more than apparent. 

“I’m more proud of this than anything I’ll ever write,” said Frank. “And any profit from the sale of this book will be donated to children’s hospitals.”

“It was a perfect partnership. I don’t think either one of us could have done it without the other,” added Sam. “When my dad brought this up to me, I was 19, I was in college, I didn’t have skills, I didn’t have time. Years have gone by, and he was very patient. It was like just a dream.”

“Where Did Cain Go?: A Family’s Walk Through Loss” can be ordered online through BarnesandNoble.com, Amazon.com, and Powells.com.