A Very Happy Seventieth Birthday To “Hey Jude”
By Frank Sinatra, AAP Editor
Last month, Judith Kristen wished columnist Bob Wagner a very happy 70th birthday. It went over so well, Bob is currently hiding in his garage until, and I quote the man himself, “this whole 2018 thing blows over.”
As turnabout is fair play, I thought I’d give another one of our columnists, Judith Kristen, who will be a septuagenarian as of April 3, a taste of her own medicine. And since laughter is the best medicine… here we go.
Many know our Judy as an author, animal lover, and overall humanitarian. My first thought of Ms. Kristen is that of stalker. That’s right. Stalker.
Judith Kristen
How else do you describe someone who, at the tender age of 16, cut school on multiple occasions; duped hotel employees, her parents, AND law enforcement; and got “detained” by police after trying to climb an “appropriated” ladder, all in attempt to become Mrs. George Harrison?
She wrote a book about it; you’d almost think it’s historical fiction, until you meet Judy. Then you realize – in a good way – that’s she’s crazy enough to have pulled it off.
In the best possible way, Judith Kristen is text book certifiable. Kookoo enough not to take “no” for an answer. So nuts, she can turn the tragedies of her life into triumph. And given her druthers, she would be that over-the-top “cat/dog/rhesus monkey lady” that tries to save every single cat, dog, budgie, and ant eater that comes across her path.
Truth is, we should all be so lucky to be crazy like that. It enables her to move past her own troubles to find real joy; toss away mistrust and make instant best friends; and fosters a genuine willingness to give of herself to those who need it.
When Judy was pushing 70, she was doing things like making sandwiches for the homeless and driving solo throughout Philly and Camden to make the day of those less fortunate; traveling over 1,000 miles to rescue animal that no one would foster; and celebrating with throngs of Eagles fans during the Super Bowl Parade, while on a bum ankle, no less. I can’t wait to see what she has in store during the next decade.
So happy birthday to my favorite 21st Century hippie. Mother to many, enemy to none, friend to all. Jon is looking down from Heaven with a giant smile. It’s well-deserved.
Peace, love, and a lack of restraining orders. You take a sad song and make it better.
~Frank
